Norv By Norv-west

The Chargers hiring of Norv Turner as head coach today can be compared to a date in which you offer to take your companion to Wendy’s, she objects, you offer to take her someplace better…only to pull your car into McDonald’s across the street. Norv is a poor man’s Schottenheimer – on a good day! Turner was noticeably ineffective in his years with the Skins and Raiduhs – earning a whopping one trip to the playoffs (with Washington). Just ask an Oakland fan about his 1-11 record in division games with the Raiders over his two years, and, assuming you don’t get a silver and black medieval mace to the face, suddenly Schottenheimer’s 5-13 playoff record won’t seem so terrible. Schottenheimer at least brings a successful regular season and a consistent competence at making the playoffs.

The Chargers, fresh off their botched showdown with Belichick and co. were nonetheless Vegas favorites moments after the Super Bowl ended. Vegas knows the casual fan who just suffered through three hours of Peyton in the rain would love nothing more than to dream that next year a new champion will emerge. The gaudy offensive production of Tomlinson and company and their 14-2 record perhaps MUST make the Bolts a favorite in the circular reasoning of America’s millions of brainwashed fantasy players.

One wonders, will Norv immediately have to inherit Marty’s “LaDanian is the best player ever” viewpoint as a condition of taking over? LaDanian can get four touchdowns in every game and they still wouldn’t be an inch closer to the Super Bowl if Norv can’t strategize a playoff win…likely against Belichick and/or Dungy no less. Norv’s inability to lead a team seemed to have him relegated to coordinator status for good, yet clearly the Chargers wanted to go with head coaching “experience” which is like saying we’d rather go with someone predictably mediocre than some young guy who is untested. No one has more experience being predictably mediocre than Marty Schottenheimer, who is a better Norv than Norv is, even.

The powder blue and yellow lightning bolts of SD seem forever doomed with this one to enter the realm of classic teams that apexed short of the Super Bowl. Not even a strategy of giving the ball to LeBron Tomlinson every single play will make these Cleveland Cavaliers of the NFL successful if they aren’t managed properly as a team, and remain unable to adapt to changing circumstances under pressure. Can Norv change that? You know the Raiders are licking their chops at two chances to show the world the answer is “no.”